Oh My Balm

View Original

Productivity, Partnership + Parenting in a Pandemic (aka staying sane while working from home and homeschooling)

Emily and I have never met in person. I was invited to you The MOM Revolution Facebook Group, and there I have found a group of women who are smart, think outside the box, and support each other without judgment. This has become my “safe space.” The description of the group had me hooked:
”The Mom Revolution is a group for perfect women masquerading as imperfect moms. You've birthed, or adopted, children. Now you begin the process of birthing yourself. Who YOU are is the topic of conversation. Reclaiming your BADASS, before kids, before you slipped into the familiar, "oh, I'm so and so's mom". What if the birth of your children were a way to catapult you into your true calling? Your soul's purpose? The possibility of happy, brave, fulfilled and free? The possibility of JOY! So, tell us about you! Who are you? Why are you here? How will you shine your brilliance in the world? What do you want to create? How can The Motherhood support you? “ If you need a group for support with other BADASS like-minded MOMS - come join us there.
—Meredith, Oh My Balm

When I sat down to write this post
I got very in my head about it
I wanted to make sure I “did it right”
and it occurred to me that that’s actually 
what this post is about
“doing it right”
so here’s what I have to say about that  

there will always be the perfect moms 
(pandemic or no pandemic)
who do it right
who post about how great life is
how they play cards, ride bikes, do puzzles
have plenty of good family time
all while cooking every meal from scratch
homeschooling 3 kids under the age of 9
and running their businesses
with the precision of a Swiss watch factory  

cheer them on
(seriously, it’s good for you)
but don’t compare yourself to them
this sh*t can be overwhelming
but only because you've never done it before
so you don’t know how to approach it
or what to expect

every single thing you know
was new once  

so if you think your home should be running
like a well oiled machine

  • killing it as a mom

  • killing it as a wife

  • hot sex life

  • clothes clean and folded

  • beds made

  • kitchen organized

  • fridge full of healthy snacks

  • schoolwork done

  • cooperative children with stellar hygiene

  • children who love to read and don’t care about screen
    time

all while clients are throwing money at you  

cut yourself a break
the expectation of that scenario as reality
can send a girl spiraling down the road of
shame, anxiety, frustration, and not good enough
not to mention resentment
toward all the things, and people
showing up “in the way”
of how you think it should be going  

so here are some thoughts about
productivity, partnership and parenting 
during the pandemic (and all the time)  

start with a plan:
decide nothing should be any other way than it actually is
then begin with the end in mind
consider your long and short term goals
they are why any of it matters  

if you have a partner
remember that you are on the same team
and want the same things
take an hour and do it together, if possible
make it fun however fun looks for you
(dance breaks, music, adult beverages, whatever)

make a list of “all the things”
pick your 3 - 5 absolute musts
decide how long you will spend on each one
put them on your planners with start and end times
(don’t forget play time)
notice the joyful moments

next look at the things that didn’t make your top 3 - 5
give yourself permission to let some things go (woo hoo)
anything that absolutely can’t be ditched completely 
gets assigned a day of the week and time allotment
I suggest 15-30 minutes, max
add those to your planner as well
notice the joyful moments
 
once you have your plan
make sure the whole family knows what it is
and how it works
if work is happening, you won’t be making tacos
if school is happening, you won’t be making work calls
when the time you allotted is over, you’re done
notice the joyful moments  

do scheduled things at scheduled times
be where you are then you are there
do what you’re doing when you are doing it
and enjoy the ride as much as you possibly can
(that’s what it’s all about) notice the joyful moments  

to sum it up
pick them
schedule them
do them
love them
let the rest go
notice joy in all the things  

if you’re doing it, it’s right
___
Emily Stulman Klein, founder of liveajoyfullife.com, is a leading Life Coach for Women. She believes that every woman deserves a joyful life, to be happy, brave, fulfilled, and free. Through her 1:1 work and small group programs, Emily helps women come home to themselves and live unapologetically, courageously, fiercely, joyfully, the lives they imagined. Permission not required.Emily lives in Montclair, NJ with her 13-year-old daughter, their large brown dog, and small gray bunny.Don’t you deserve a joyful life?Decide to start living the life you imagined.
Permission not required.
www.liveajoyfullife.com

https://www.facebook.com/liveajoyfullife/ book your free consult here: https://liveajoyfullife.as.me/connectwithemily